Healing with humour: Taking better care of ourselves =>;-))
http://www.hknet.org.nz/healthNhumour.html
Visit our Hasya Rasa pages
Laughter Therapy - its no joke:
http://www.healthlibrary.com/reading/yod/march98/news.htm
Healing with humour: Taking better care of ourselves =>;-))
http://www.hknet.org.nz/healthNhumour.html
Visit our Hasya Rasa pages
Laughter Therapy - its no joke:
http://www.healthlibrary.com/reading/yod/march98/news.htm
To read more about Hasya visit our pages
So Lord Caitanya is known as the one:
- hasya-kari & hasya-yuk ==> who laughs & jokes
- hasya-priya ==> who is fond of joking
- hasya-nagara ==> who is the hero of those expert in speaking joking words
- hasya-grami & hasya-kara ==> is expert at joking
- pushpa-hasa ==> whose smile & laugh are as charminng as flowers.
Lord Gauranga's smiling & laughing qualities ki...
ys Radhe Govinda dasa
P.S. One of the qualities of Srimati Radharani is that she is very expert
in the art of joking.
SOME FACTS ABOUT HUMOUR
"With devotion steeped in love and affection, the yogi should meditate within the core of his heart upon the laughter of Lord Vishnu. The laughter of Vishnu is so captivating that it can be easily meditated upon. When the Supreme Lord is laughing, one can see His small teeth, which resemble jasmine buds rendered rosy by the splendor of His lips. Once devoting his mind to this, the yogi no longer desires to see anything else." ~ S.P., Srimad-Bhagavatam 3-23-33 "Kapila's Instructions on Devotional Service"
SCIENCE - After surgery but prior to the administration of pain medication, patients were told one-liner jokes. Those patients who were exposed to the humor experienced less pain in comparison to the other surgery patients who didn't get a dose of humor as part of their therapy. ~ Summary from study published in ' Journal of Holistic Nursing'
Medical experts (Dr. Derk & Dr. Wiilliiamsburg) reveal that a powerful laugh will relax tensed muscles, brings more oxygen into the system and more quickly, lowers blood pressure, and offers a free, overall health benefits on many levels! And its free!. (If the FDA could manufacture a medicine like this, they'd charge a bundle.)
Loma Linda University Cali study by Dr. Lee Berk and Dr. Stanley Tan showed that physiological responses that were produced from belly laughter, were the opposite of what is seen in classical stress, thereby offering yet more evidence that laughing produces healthy or positive emotions.
Results of research by Dr. Lee Berk and Dr. Stanley Tan (Loma Linda U of Ca) indicated that after a good belly laugh, there is a general increase in activity within the immune system, such as: increased number and activity level of natural killer cells that attack viral infected cells and some types of cancer and tumor cells.
If it tickles your funny bone then chances are it will reduce the stress in your life and leave your immune system to do its part. This premise has been supported by both the field of psychiatry and biobehavioral sciences. A recent publication with research data appeared in the Journal of the American Medical Association. Skin welt sizes were compared in patients suffering from severe allergies after one group watched a video featuring Charlie Chaplin and the other group listened to a documentary on weather. Needless to say, the Japanese study confirmed a reduction in skin welt size in the group watching the famed comedian. [FROM CNN.COM] CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, February 13, 2001:
MORE SCIENTIFIC FINDINGS ABOUT LAUGHTER
* Laughter stimulates physical healing.
* Laughter enhances our individual creativity.
* Laughter is rejuvenating and regenerating.
* Laughter is good for relationships (that includes friendships).
* Laughter opens the heart.
* Laughter gives us a glimpse of freedom from the mind. (In other words,
helpful for getting off the mental platform!)
~~ Articles by N. Lehrman in Archives of Internal Medicine, April 26,1993; Lee Berk, Dr. P.H. in Loma Linda University School of Medicine News, March 11,1999; N.Silver in American Health, November 1986; J. McCormick in Lancet, August 1994.
"We are less likely to succcummb to feelings of depression and helplessness if we are able to laugh at what is troubling us. Humor gives us a sense of perspective on our problems. Laughter provides an opportunity for the release of those uncomfortable emotions which, if held inside, may create biochemical changes that are harmful to the body." Patty Wooten, author of 'Pulmonary Rehabilitation: Guidelines to Success'
SCIENTIFIC FINDINGS - Controlled studies have given evidence that a good belly laugh has lowered serum cortisol levels, increased amounts of activated T lymphocytes, increased number and activity of natural killer cells, and increased the number of T cells that have helper/ suppresser receptors. Or to sum it up: laughter off-sets the immunosuppressive effects of stress and is therefore significantly improves the health of the immune system. - Discoveries by Dr. Berk and Dr. Tan, Loma Linda University.
Evidence (from EEG) revealed that when a joke is just about to be told, the initial anticipation results in the brains cortex's left hemisphere starting the function of analyzing of word processing. Next, most brain activity moved to the frontal lobe (the center of emotions). After that, the right hemisphere's synthesis mix with the left's processing to look for and locate the pattern or to be able to "get" the joke. Very quickly following, though just prior to the persons had quite enough time to laugh, brain waves increase and spread to the occipital lobe which is the sensory processing areas of the brain. There was an increase in fluctuations of delta waves which reached a crescendo of activity and crested as the brain 'got' the joke followed by the recipient beginning of laughter. So here you have 'scientific' knowledge how laughter works, integrating the brain and getting it to all function together, thanks to Dr. Derk & Dr. Williamsburg. Now, stop analyzing and start laughing! :-) You have facts that it's actually beneficial for a variety of health issues, so don't minimize its importance and start giving yourself permission to take out time each day to laugh. Like a vitamin or even a meal, it's a necessity!
Courtesy of mother Pritaa ACBSP's site http://www.geocities.com/priitaa108/humor.htm
Laugh Yoga with Bir Krishna Goswami
Laugh Yoga during a picnic in Helsinki
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2932828682381191751
Laugh Yoga with Master Laugh Therapist BK Goswami - Laugh Yoga at
It's Best In Split Croatia - 1 hr 41 min 49 sec - Aug 30, 2007
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5224249030279265816
This is a MUST READ =>;-Q
http://www.digitalsawdust.com
Four Wives parable:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/4wives.pps
Click on this link to see how really short life is.
http://www.sastradana.com/video/lifeisshort.wmv
sent in by Shyamasundar prabhu ACBSP
Angry mouths flip out at a Press Conference
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym9hMtpk9d4
12 days of Xmas Indian style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE
Once in a moderate sized village in India there lived a very successful smarta Brahmin. He had been trained from the time of his youth in the various mechanical aspects of Vedic ritual and was thus practically flawless in their execution. Similarly he had been specially schooled in the perfect intonations for the chanting of a seemingly endless stream of mantras and was expert at knowing when and where the appropriate chanting of such mantras should take place. He was always impeccably dressed and even inconsequential movements of his body were choreographed so that even his picking up a piece of paper appeared to the casual observer to have a ballet like quality. Yet despite so much training and apparent sukrti he was internally simply a showman and an arrogant and even occasionally mean spirited one at that.
He would carry on a running internal dialogue with himself during his waking hours, silently condemning the pathetic fault ridden positions of nearly ever person he met. He quite fancied that he was most magnanimous to regularly intermix with the "ordinary" populace as they undoubtedly gained tremendous karmic benefit by even a brief encounter with him, thus was his personal estimation of superiority.
One afternoon he went to a private spot near the river to take care of the necessary functions of the body and to take his afternoon bath. After doing the needful for the first time ever, quite contrary to his smarta training he turned and glanced at the mound of waste he had just excreted. He quickly turned away, a sneer of revulsion bending the contours of his face when he heard a little voice calling from behind.
"Excuse me but could you kindly explain the justification for your immense sense of pride?!" The small voice queried. The Smarta Brahmin turned and saw, to his utter amazement that the voice had emanated from the pile of stool. His befuddlement was just sinking in when the voice continued,
"Of course you sneer at my repulsive and disgusting condition but I'll be pleased to remind you that but a few hours ago I was a beautiful thali of wonderful, finely prepared Prasadam and now after only a few hours of association with you, behold the wretched condition I find myself in!"
A couple had two little boys, ages 8 and 10, who were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble. Their parents knew that if any mischief occurred in their village, their sons were probably involved. The boys' mother heard that a pundit in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her sons. The pundit agreed, but asked to see them separately. So, the mother sent her eight-year-old first, in the morning. The pundit, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the boy down and asked him sternly, Where is God? The boy's mouth dropped open, but he made no response. So the pundit repeated the question in an even sterner tone, Where is God!!? Again the wide-eyed boy made no attempt to answer. The pundit raised his voice and bellowed, WHERE IS GOD!?
The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into a closet, slamming the door behind him. When his older brother found him hiding, he asked, What happened? The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, We are in BIG trouble this time, ji. God is missing, and they think WE did it!
Old Abraham was a poor tailor whose shop was next door to a very upscale French restaurant.
Every day at lunch time, Abraham would go out the back of his shop and eat his black bread and herring while smelling the wonderful odors coming from the restaurant's kitchen.
One day, Abraham was surprised to receive an invoice from the restaurant for "enjoyment of food."
So he went to the restaurant to point out that he had not bought anything from them.
The manager said, "You're enjoying our food, so you should pay us for it."
Abraham refused to pay and the restaurant sued him.
At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant manager to present his side of the case.
The manager said, "Every day, this man comes and sits outside our kitchen
and smells our food while eating his.
It is clear that we are providing added value to his poor food and
we deserve to be compensated for it."
The judge turned to Abraham and said, "What do you have to say to that?"
Abraham didn't say anything but stuck his hand in his pocket and rattled the few coins he had inside.
The judge asked him, "What is the meaning of that?"
Abraham replied, "Simply, I'm paying for the smell of his food with the sound of my money."
Three weeks later a cow walked up to him carrying the Bhagavad Gita in its mouth.
The gurukul boy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the cow's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed,
"Wow, It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the cow. "Your name is written inside the cover."
Last fall, Russian archaeologists dug down 300 feet and found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years. They concluded that their ancestors had had a telephone network a millennium ago.
Not to be outdone, French scientists drilled down 400 feet, finding traces of optical fiber that were 2000 years old. They gloated that their ancestors had had digital phones 1000 years before the Russian analog system.
A week later the Japanese press reported, "After digging to 500 feet, Japanese scientists have found absolutely nothing. This proves conclusively that 5000 years ago, our ancestors were already using wireless phones."
blind men examining an elephant to reveal what it is..............come
on you know the story.
Anyone who has experienced the gaseous effects of a "real good chaunce" in the temple kitchen will get a laugh out of this true story reported by the BBC in Soho, Central London, England. My wife did a real good chaunce recently when cooking for a Sunday feast that had us all coughing and hanging out windows and doors. We joked about the potential for neighbours to think there was a chemical attack or something, but this story below has to take the cake.
Burning Chilli Sparks Terrorist Fear
http://www.sivaramaswami.com/?p=1891
October 4th, 2007 Editor
A pot of burning chilli sparked fears of a biological terror attack in central London.
Firefighters wearing protective breathing apparatus were called to D’Arblay Street, Soho, after reports of noxious smoke filling the air.
Police closed off three roads and evacuated homes following the alert.
Specialist crews broke down the door to the Thai Cottage restaurant at 1900 BST on Monday where they discovered the source - a 9lb pot of chillies.
The restaurant had been preparing Nam Prik Pao, a red-hot Thai dip which uses extra-hot chillies which are deliberately burnt. But the smell prompted several members of the public to call the emergency services.
Alpaslan Duven, a Turkish journalist based in the restaurant’s building, said: “I was sitting in the office when me and my chief start coughing and I said this was something really dodgy.
“I looked out of the window and saw people rushing and then we heard the sirens.”
Supranee Yodmuang, the restaurant supervisor, was above the restaurant when she received a phone call from her boss.
“It was about 4pm when I saw the police who were closing off the roads but I didn’t know why. My boss rang me and said I had to get out of the building because of a chemical attack.”
She added: “Because we’re Thai, we’re used to the smell of chillies.”
A Scotland Yard spokesman said: “The street was closed off for three hours while we were trying to discover the source of the odour.”
from Sivaram maharaj's site
.....and you get people comment about devotee names being exotic and difficult to say, try this little story:
Katharina, now 6, (who is being raised bilingual) returned from her first day at school and told her father, "There is a boy in our class who has a very silly name!
He says his name is toe-knee!" Then Katharina burst out laughing. Her father figured out the name is Tony.
Connie (friend of the family) of Vienna
from Verneita
What’s in a Name?
http://www.brijabasispirit.com/2007/06/02/whats-in-a-name/
June 2, 2007
by Damodar das
Last week Gopalasyapriya was performing her customary rounds in the
Palace gardens.
She was approached by one guest, an Indian gentleman who was visiting
with his family.
The gentleman asked Gopa her name, and then she asked him for his.
He replied that his name is Maha Lingam. Other than that, he seemed
quite normal.
Brijbasispirit is New Vrindavan USA
Just see somethings hold no shame for some:
WHEN I WAS a 20-something college student, I became quite friendly with my study partner, a 64-year-old man, who had returned to school to finish his degree. He confessed he had once thought more than friendship might be a possibility.
"So what changed your mind?" I asked him.
"I went to my doctor and asked if he thought a 40-year age difference
between a man and woman was insurmountable.
He looked at my chart and said, 'You're interested in someone who's
104?' "
Contributed to "Life in These United States" by Kelly
Moore
From Reader's Digest
The woman applying for a job in a Florida lemon grove seemed way too
qualified for the job.
"Look Miss," said the foreman, "do you have any experience in picking lemons?"
"Well... as a matter if fact, Yes!" she replied. "I've been divorced
three times."
Harbhajan Singh's wife is heavily pregnant and in hospital to give
birth. An anxious husband is watching cricket whilst awaiting news from
the hospital.
Eventually he could not wait any longer and called the hospital to find out about his wife, but…..he accidentally dialed the cricket stadium.
When the phone was answered he asked: ”How are things“ and was told:
“fine, 3 were out by tea break, in total 7 were out by lunch time,
the last one out was a duck!“ The Harbhajan fainted.
Did
you ever wonder? 
how is that so..........??????
Fashion statement nearly leads to legal statement:
A man wearing handcuffs on one wrist while walking near the Tulsa County
Courthouse drew the attention of
passersby last Friday, who contacted law officers.
But it turns out it was just his idea of a fashion statement, said
sheriff's Sgt. Brittney Stuart.
The man, whose name was not released, was wearing "goth" clothing, with
one end of the handcuffs on his wrist
and the other end dangling, making it appear as if he had escaped custody,
Britt said.
"Wearing a set of handcuffs near a courthouse is not exactly the most
intelligent thing you could do,"
Ms. Stuart said.
Deputies stopped the man and checked for warrants. None were found, and he was released.
(....into the bondage which is his mind)
A woman brought a very limp duck into a vet. As she laid her pet on
the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's
chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm
so sorry, your duck has passed away."
The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I'm quite sure. The duck is dead," he replied. "How can you be so sure," she protested. " you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."
The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room and returned a few moments later with a black Labrador
As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook his head.
The vet patted the dog and took it out, and returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed delicately at the bird. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and strolled out of the room.
The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."
Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "£150!", she cried. "£150 just to tell me my duck is dead?"
The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry." "If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been £20, but with the Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now £150."
thanks to Pauline Archell-Thompson in the UK for this one
This one is priceless... Wrong email address?
A lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address!
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly
icy winter.
They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon
20 years earlier.
Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from
her husband's funeral.
He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.
The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2005
I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now
and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.
I've just arrived and have been checked in. I've seen that everything
has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
Looking forward to seeing you then!
Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.
P.S. Sure is freaking hot down here!
The ways of this material world - strange but true
"Bad karma"
An example of Mäyayäpahrita-jnänäh (Bhagavad Gita
7:15.) - intelligence lost and äsuram bhävam äshritäh
- those of demonic principles:
Iraqi terrorist Khay Rahnajet didn't pay enough postage on a letter
bomb he'd posted.
It came back with "Return to Sender" stamped on it.
Forgetting it was the bomb, he opened it.........kaboom
oooooooh the irony
The average cost of rehabilitating a seal after the Exxon Valdez Oil
spill in Alaska was $80,000.00.
At a special ceremony, two of the most expensively saved animals were
being released back into the wild amid cheers and applause from onlookers.
A minute later, in full view, a killer whale ate them both.
This is from Oracle Bangalore: >From an employee who was performing
the "mundan" ceremony of his 10 year old son:
"as I want to shave my son's head, please leave me for two days.."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another gem from CDAC. Leave-letter from an employee who was performing
his daughter's wedding:
"as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week's leave.."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
From H.A.L. Administration Dept:
"As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for
it, please grant me 10 days leave."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
"Since I've to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not
return, please grant me half day casual leave"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
An incident of a leave letter:
"I am suffering from fever, please declare one-day holiday."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A leave letter to the headmaster:
"As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request
you to leave me today"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another leave letter written to the headmaster:
"As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Covering note:
"I am enclosed herewith..."
kindly sent in by Yashi, thank you too much
Wanting to see if the class had understood the concept, the instructor asked if anyone could provide an example of something that went straight from a solid to a gas (expecting "dry ice" as the answer), a previously unknown section of my mind took control of his mouth and immediately emitted the words "baked beans".
Apparently it took the instructor about 10 minutes to regain an academic composure.
These four friends were so confident, that the weekend before finals, they decided to visit some friends & have a big party. They had a great time, but after all the hearty partying; they slept all day Sunday & didn't make it back until early Monday morning.
Rather than taking the final then, they decided that after the final, they'd explain to their professor why they missed it. They said that they visited friends, but on the way back they had a flat tyre. As a result, they missed the final. The professor agreed they could make make up the final the next day.
The guys were excited and relieved. They studied that night for the exam.
The Professor placed them in separate rooms & gave them a test booklet.
They quickly answered the first problem worth 5 points. Cool, they
thought!
Each one in separate rooms, thinking this was going to be easy .....
they they turned the page. On the second page was written For
95 points:
Which tyre? _____
I was on the way to work this morning and I ran into the back of a
car at some traffic lights.
The other fella driving got out and started running back and it turns out he's a dwarf!
Anyway he runs up to my window and says "I'm not happy"...
I said "Well which one are you then?"
Thanks Pat L.
Oh this wonderful age of Kali..........:
The policeman was walking his beat when he saw two men fighting and a little boy standing alongside them crying, "Daddy, Daddy!"
The officer pulled the two men apart and, turning to the boy, asked, "Which one is your father, lad?"
"I don't know," the boy said, rubbing tears from his eyes. "That's what they're fighting about!"
In a hospital's Intensive Care Unit, patients always died in the same
bed, on Sunday morning, at about 11:00 a.m., regardless of their medical
condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought it had something to
do with the supernatural.
No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths occurred around
11:00 a.m. Sunday,
so a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause
of the incidents.
The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am., all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books, and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits.
Just when the clock struck 11:00, Pookie Patel, the part-time Sunday
cleaner,
entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so he could
use his vacuum cleaner.....!!
Queen Elizabeth II is riding in her horse drawn carriage with the King of Tonga when suddenly one of the horses lifted its tail and let rip through the carriage with what can only be described as an almighty blast of wind creating a loud farting sound.
The Queen politely leaned toward the King of Tonga and said "I'm sorry about that."
To which he immediately replied, "Don't mention it, I thought it was one of the horses !!!"
SELF-EVIDENT, adj. Evident to one's self and to nobody else.
Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/
.......more optical illusions and paradigm twists here:
SELFISH, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.
Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/
........with the support of your local road working crew !!!!
(NOTE: for a law to have been passed means that someone actually did it and the law is to stop it happening again, or it is to all someone to do that which is stipulated - either way........... So picture the situations with these: )
Alabama
It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.
Alaska
It is illegal to whisper in someone's ear while they are moose hunting.
Arizona
It is illegal to take naked photographs before noon on Sunday.
Arkansas
It's illegal to mispronounce the name of the state of Arkansas.
California
A city ordinance states that a $500 fine will be given to anyone who
detonates a nuclear device within city limits.
Colorado
Durango: It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming"
on one's sex.
Connecticut
A local ordinance in Atwoodville, Connecticut prohibits people from
playing Scrabble while waiting for a politician to speak.
Delaware
It is illegal to get married on a dare.
D.C.
The only acceptable sexual position in Washington D.C. is the missionary
position. Any other sexual position is considered illegal.
Florida
Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.
You may not kiss your wife's breasts.
Georgia
Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.
Hawaii
Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears.
Idaho
You may not fish on a camel's back.
Illinois
"Dwarf-tossing," the strange practice of hurling dwarfs in padded suits,
is outlawed in the bars of Springfield, Ill., because it's dangerous and
exploitative. The practice is apparently allowed elsewhere in town, with
a special permit.
Indiana
All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.
Iowa
A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.
Kansas
In Kansas City, KS, saying the name "George Washington" without adding
the phrase "blessed be his name," can land you with a fine of up to fifty
cents.
Kentucky
All nude people in your house must be registered in Kentucky.
Louisiana
Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault", while biting
someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault".
Maine
After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas
decorations still up.
You may not step out of a plane in flight.
Maryland
Baltimore: It's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window
within the city limits. It's illegal to take a lion to the movies. It is
a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. $10
fine. This would include joggers that go shirtless. (1898) -Park Rule 6
It is a violation of city code to sell chicks or ducklings to a minor within
1 week of the Easter holiday.
Massachusetts
A woman can not be on top in sexual activities.
Michigan
It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt
in your house.
Minnesota
A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head.
Mississippi
It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public.
Missouri
Anyone under the age of 21 who takes out household trash containing
even a single empty alcohol beverage container can be charged with illegal
possession of alcohol in Missouri.
Four women may not rent an apartment together.
Montana
It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone.
Nebraska
A man is not allowed to run around with a shaved chest.
A parent can be arrested if her/his child cannot hold back a burp during
a church service.
Nevada
A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other
than himself at any one period during the day.
In Las Vegas, Nevada: It's against the law to pawn your dentures.
New Hampshire
Any cattle that crosses state roads must be fitted with a device to
gather its feces.
You cannot sell the clothes you are wearing to pay off a gambling debt.
New Jersey
If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never
again apply for personalized license plates.
It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.
New Mexico
Females are strictly forbidden to appear unshaven in public.
New York
A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically
prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a
woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls
for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders"
wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.
A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her
pocket.
Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose
and wiggling the fingers".
North Carolina
All couples staying overnight in a hotel must have a room with double
beds that are at least two feet apart. Making love in the space between
the beds is strictly forbidden.
It's against the law to sing off key in North Carolina.
North Dakota
Beer and pretzels can't be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a
covered wagon.
Ohio
According to Ohio law, it's against the law to kill a housefly within
160 feet of a church without a license.
Oklahoma
A City Ordinance in Oklahoma, states that it shall be unlawful to put
any hypnotized person in a display window.
It is illegal to wear your boots to bed.
Oregon
Dishes must drip dry.
It is illegal to whisper "dirty" things in your lover's ear during
sex.
Pennsylvania
A person is not eligible to become Governor if he/she has participated
in a duel.
All fire hydrants must be checked one hour before all fires.
Rhode Island
Any marriage where either of the parties is an idiot or lunatic is
null and void.
It is considered an offense to throw pickle juice on a trolley.
South Carolina
A railroad my not remove itself from a town of more than five hundred
people.
All schools must prepare a suitable program for Francis Willard Day.
South Dakota
If there are more than 5 Native Americans on your property you may
shoot them.
Tennessee
Driving is not to be done while asleep.
It is illegal for a woman to call a man for a date.
Texas
A recently passed anticrime law requires criminals to give their victims
24 hours notice, either orally or in writing, and to explain the nature
of the crime to be committed.
It is illegal to milk another person's cow.
Utah
A husband is responsible for every criminal act committed by his wife
while she is in his presence.
It is against the law to fish from horseback.
It is illegal not to drink milk.
Vermont
In Vermont it is illegal to paint landscapes in times of war.
Virginia
Dayton: A person of color may not be outside or within the city limits
after 7 pm.
It is illegal to sell peanut brittle on Sundays.
It is illegal to tickle women.
Washington
All lollipops are banned.
It is illegal to deflower a virgin even on their wedding day.
It is illegal to paint polka dots on the American flag.
It is illegal to pretend that one's parents are rich.
West Virginia
A person may not hold public office if they have ever taken part in
a
duel. A person may be jailed for up to six months for making fun of
someone who does not accept a challenge.
Wisconsin
Butter substitutes are not allowed to be served in state prisons.
Wyoming
It is illegal to tattoo a horse with the intent of making it
unrecognizable to its owner. You may not take a picture of a rabbit
during the month of June.
God Bless Amerika
sent in by Hrishikeshananda prabhu ACBSP - Thailand
"Words of wisdom from the mouth of babes"
Doctors:
(A) The number of doctors in the U.S. Is 700,000
(B) Accidental deaths caused by physicians per year are 120,000
(C) Accidental deaths per physician is 17.14%
Statistics courtesy of the U.S. Dept. Of Health & Human
Services
Guns:
(A) The number of gun owners in the U.S. Is 80,000,000 (yes that's
80million)
(B) The number of accidental gun deaths per year, All age groups, is
1,500
(C) The number of accidental deaths per gun owner is 0.001875%
Statistics courtesy of the FBI
So statistically, doctors are approximately 9,000 times more dangerous than gun owners.
Remember, guns don't kill people, doctors do.
FACT: NOT EVERYONE HAS A GUN, BUT ALMOST EVERYONE HAS AT LEAST ONE DOCTOR
Please alert your friends to this alarming threat. we must ban doctors before this gets completely out of hand!!!
Out of concern for the public at large, I have withheld statistics on lawyers for fear the shock would cause people to panic and seek medical attention.
Thanks Hampster
Footnote: to the Maori Activists reported over the last few days in the news - don't take up arms, become doctors.
The Lord led the holy man to two doors.
He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew, which smelled delicious and made the holy man's mouth water.
The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared
to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles that were
strapped to their arms and each found it possible to reach into the pot
of stew and take a spoonful.
But because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get
the spoons back into their mouths.
The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.
The Lord said, "You have seen Hell."
They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man's mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, "I don't understand."
It is simple," said the Lord.
"It requires but one skill. You see they have learned to feed each
other, while the greedy think only of themselves."
thanks to Pauline Archell-Thompson in the UK for this one
Please Try our little Colour Test - Right Brain vs Left Brain:
http://www.njagyouth.org/colortest.swf
I can't believe you actually clicked on that
