Krishna Conscious - Vedikly acceptable Jokes


Healing with humour: Taking better care of ourselves  =>;-))
http://www.hknet.org.nz/healthNhumour.html
Visit our Hasya Rasa pages

Laughter Therapy - its no joke:
http://www.healthlibrary.com/reading/yod/march98/news.htm

'Hasya' or humour, created using either a situation or a behaviour-mode, easily reveals in dialogues and gestures during a play but a difficult theme for a sculpture or painting. There are, however, some excellent examples of 'Hasya' in pictoral art also and these days in cartoons. Besides caricatures and 'bhangeris'-type characters, myths, legends or stories are also used for depicting humour. For example Lord Shiva is camping with Parvati under a tree in the forest. As Shiva is adorned with serpents, a serpent, drapes across the otherwise naked form of Shiva like a loincloth, is covering his private parts. Hearing of him being there under the tree, Lord Vishnu, along with Garuda, His faithful vehicle, comes to pay him homage. The snake, as soon as it sees the bird carrier Garuda, his natural enemy, abandons Shiva leaving him all exposed and naked and flees into an anthill. It is humour by situation. Deliberate tricks and or sarcasm, usually bringing forth the philosophy and culture, sometimes in Krishna-related themes, are also used for creating humour.

To read more about Hasya visit our pages

FOR YOUR INTEREST: This one is not a joke but I thought you might like to know. These are the names of Lord Caitanya taken from the book "Sri Caitanya Sahasra Nama Stotra", i.e. "A Thousand Names of Lord Caitanya" by Srila Kavi Karnapura (as translated by HG Kusakratha Prabhu from the Krsna Institute)...

        So Lord Caitanya is known as the one:

 - hasya-kari  &  hasya-yuk  ==> who laughs & jokes

 - hasya-priya  ==> who is fond of joking

 - hasya-nagara ==> who is the hero of those expert in speaking joking words

 - hasya-grami  &  hasya-kara  ==> is expert at joking

 - pushpa-hasa  ==> whose smile & laugh are as charminng as flowers.

Lord Gauranga's smiling & laughing qualities ki...

                                                ys Radhe Govinda dasa

P.S. One of the qualities of Srimati Radharani is that she is very expert in the art of joking.

"Any gentleman should be a little humorous."

- Srila Prabhupada (Letter to Kurusrestha 75-09-26)(26th Sept 1976)

SOME FACTS ABOUT HUMOUR

"With devotion steeped in love and affection, the yogi should meditate within the core of his heart upon the laughter of Lord Vishnu. The laughter of Vishnu is so captivating that it can be easily meditated upon. When the Supreme Lord is laughing, one can see His small teeth, which resemble jasmine buds rendered rosy by the splendor of His lips. Once devoting his mind to this, the yogi no longer desires to see anything else." ~ S.P., Srimad-Bhagavatam 3-23-33 "Kapila's Instructions on Devotional Service"

SCIENCE - After surgery but prior to the administration of pain medication, patients were told one-liner jokes. Those patients who were exposed to the humor experienced less pain in comparison to the other surgery patients who didn't get a dose of humor as part of their therapy. ~ Summary from study published in  ' Journal of Holistic Nursing'

Medical experts (Dr. Derk & Dr. Wiilliiamsburg) reveal that a powerful laugh will relax tensed muscles, brings more oxygen into the system and more quickly, lowers blood pressure, and offers a free, overall health benefits on many levels! And its free!. (If the FDA could manufacture a medicine like this, they'd charge a bundle.)

Loma Linda University Cali study by Dr. Lee Berk and Dr. Stanley Tan showed that physiological responses that were produced from belly laughter, were the opposite of what is seen in classical stress, thereby offering yet more evidence that laughing produces healthy or positive emotions.

Results of research by Dr. Lee Berk and Dr. Stanley Tan (Loma Linda U of Ca) indicated that after a good belly laugh, there is a general increase in activity within the immune system, such as: increased number and activity level of natural killer cells that attack viral infected cells and some types of cancer and tumor cells.

If it tickles your funny bone then chances are it will reduce the stress in your life and leave your immune system to do its part. This premise has been supported by both the field of psychiatry and biobehavioral sciences. A recent publication with research data appeared in the Journal of the American Medical Association. Skin welt sizes were compared in patients suffering from severe allergies after one group watched a video featuring Charlie Chaplin and the other group listened to a documentary on weather. Needless to say, the Japanese study confirmed a reduction in skin welt size in the group watching the famed comedian. [FROM CNN.COM]  CHICAGO, ILLINOIS, February 13, 2001:

MORE SCIENTIFIC FINDINGS ABOUT LAUGHTER

* Laughter stimulates physical healing.
* Laughter enhances our individual creativity.
* Laughter is rejuvenating and regenerating.
* Laughter is good for relationships (that includes friendships).
* Laughter opens the heart.
* Laughter gives us a glimpse of freedom from the mind. (In other words, helpful for getting off the mental platform!)

~~ Articles by N. Lehrman in Archives of Internal Medicine, April 26,1993; Lee Berk, Dr. P.H. in Loma Linda University School of Medicine News, March 11,1999; N.Silver in American Health, November 1986; J. McCormick in Lancet, August 1994.

"We are less likely to succcummb to feelings of depression and helplessness if we are able to laugh at what is troubling us. Humor gives us a sense of perspective on our problems. Laughter provides an opportunity for the release of those uncomfortable emotions which, if held inside, may create biochemical changes that are harmful to the body." Patty Wooten, author of 'Pulmonary Rehabilitation: Guidelines to Success'

SCIENTIFIC FINDINGS - Controlled studies have given evidence that a good belly laugh has lowered serum cortisol levels, increased amounts of activated T lymphocytes, increased number and activity of natural killer cells, and increased the number of T cells that have helper/ suppresser receptors. Or to sum it up: laughter off-sets the immunosuppressive effects of stress and is therefore significantly improves the health of the immune system. - Discoveries by Dr. Berk and Dr. Tan, Loma Linda University.

Evidence (from EEG) revealed that when a joke is just about to be told, the initial anticipation results in  the brains cortex's left hemisphere starting the function of analyzing of word processing. Next, most brain activity moved to the frontal lobe (the center of emotions). After that, the right hemisphere's synthesis mix with the left's processing to look for and locate the pattern or to be able to "get" the joke. Very quickly following, though just prior to the persons had quite enough time to laugh, brain waves increase and spread to   the occipital lobe which is the sensory processing areas of the brain. There was an increase in fluctuations of delta waves which reached a crescendo of activity and crested as the brain 'got' the joke followed by the recipient beginning of laughter. So here you have 'scientific' knowledge how laughter works, integrating the brain and getting it to all function together, thanks to Dr. Derk & Dr. Williamsburg. Now, stop analyzing and start laughing! :-) You have facts that it's actually beneficial for a variety of health issues, so don't minimize its importance and start giving yourself permission to take out time each day to laugh.  Like a vitamin or even a meal, it's a necessity!

Courtesy of mother Pritaa ACBSP's site http://www.geocities.com/priitaa108/humor.htm

Laugh Yoga with Bir Krishna Goswami

Laugh Yoga during a picnic in Helsinki
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=2932828682381191751

Laugh Yoga with Master Laugh Therapist BK Goswami - Laugh Yoga at It's Best In Split Croatia - 1 hr 41 min 49 sec - Aug 30, 2007
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-5224249030279265816


This is a MUST READ =>;-Q
http://www.digitalsawdust.com

Four Wives parable:
http://www.hknet.org.nz/4wives.pps

The sound of one hand clapping !!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8muy8XHN52I

sent in by Jayasri mataji - Auckland

 Click on this link to see how really short life is.
http://www.sastradana.com/video/lifeisshort.wmv

sent in by Shyamasundar prabhu ACBSP

Angry mouths flip out at a Press Conference
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ym9hMtpk9d4

12 days of Xmas Indian style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE


.....if I were a terrorist:
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies1972.html

Complex Karmas video clip
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oP59tQf_njc

Three monkeys of material nature

hear no Krishna katha
see nothing in relation to Krishna
speak no Krishna katha


TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN:       K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L'
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
GLENN:       Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.




silly animals......
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies4087.html

Delieghtful Animals
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies4070.html

I remember one time being outside a topless bar watching a demonstration by feminists.

They were marching around, holding signs, and chanting, "FREE WOMEN!  FREE WOMEN!"

As I went into the bar I asked one lady, "Do you deliver?"

What were the veggies grown in the 60s called?

Hip peas


A motorist had a flat tire in front of an insane asylum. He took the wheel off, but when he stood up he tipped over the hubcap containing the bolts,
spilling them all down a sewer drain.

A patient, looking through the fence, suggested that the man take one bolt from the remaining three wheels to hold the fourth wheel in place until he could get to a service station.

The motorist thanked his profusely and said, "I don't know why you are in that place."

The patient said, "I'm here for being crazy, not for being stupid."

Moishe had a wife named Gitel, who nagged him unmercifully.

From morning until night,  she was always complaining about something.

The only time he got any relief was when he was out buying and selling junk and scrap metal with his old mule.

One day, when Moishe was negotiating a deal, his Gitel brought him lunch. Moishe drove the mule into the shade, sat down and began to eat.

Immediately after saying his broches (blessings), she began nagging him again.

Complain, gripe, nag, nag; it never stopped.  Suddenly, the old mule lashed smack in the back of the head, killing her dead on the spot.

At the funeral, the Rabbi noticed something rather odd. When a female mourner approached Moishe, he would listen, then nod his head in agreement; but when a male mourner approached him, he would listen, then shake his head in disagreement. This was so consistent, the Rabbi decided to ask him about it.

After the funeral, the Rabbi asked his old and dear friend why he nodded his head in agreement with all the women, but always shook his head in disagreement with the men.

Moishe said, "Well, the women would come up and say something about what a good person my wife was, or how she was such a good cook or devoted wife, so I'd nod my head in agreement."

"And the men?" the Rabbi asked.

"They wanted to know if the mule was for sale."

sent in by Shyamasundara prabhu ACBSP



While my wife was doing some Xmas shopping in the mall with my three children, a display in the window of a lingerie store caught her eye.

"Do you think Daddy would like this?" she asked the kids, as she pointed to the lacy pyjamas with matching robe.

"No way," my horrified six-year-old son replied. "Daddy would never wear that!"


If you were to lay every vein, artery and capillary in a human body end to end, that person would probably die.

A man goes to the doctor with a swollen leg. After a careful examination, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse.

"I'll be right back with some water," the doctor tells him.

The doctor is gone awhile and the man loses patience. He hobbles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. He hobbles back into the examining room.

The doctor comes back with a bucket of warm water.

"Okay, after the tablet dissolves, soak that leg for at least 30 minutes."


 

What if there were no hypothetical questions?
 



A woman was driving down the highway about 75 miles an hour, when she noticed a motorcycle policeman following her.
Instead of slowing down, she picked up speed.
 .
When she looked back again, their were two motorcycles following her.  She shot up to 90 miles.
The next time she looked around, there were three cops following her.
 .
Suddenly, she spotted a gas station looming ahead. She screeched to a stop and ran into the ladies' room.
Ten minutes later, she innocently walked out.
 .
The three cops were standing there waiting for her. Without batting an eye, she said coyly, "I'll bet none of you thought I would make it."
 



Upon arriving home in eager anticipation of a leisurely evening, the husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the druggist! He insulted me terribly this morning on the phone."

Immediately the husband drove downtown to accost the druggist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the druggist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, but I'll be darned if I didn't lock the house with both house and car keys inside. I had to break a window to get my keys.

"Driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Then, about three blocks from the store I had a flat tire.

"When I finally got to the store there was a bunch of people waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, and all the time the darn phone was ringing its head off.

"Then I had to break a roll of nickels against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I got down on my hands and knees to pick up the nickels - the phone is still ringing - when I came up I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it, and half of them hit the floor and broke.

"The phone is still ringing with no let up, and I finally got back to answer it.
It was your wife -- she wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. "Well, Mister, I told her.


Two paramedics were dispatched to check on a 92-year-old man who had become disoriented.
They decided to take him to the hospital for evaluation.

En route, with the siren blaring, they questioned the man to determine his level of awareness.
Leaning close, one of the amboes' asked, "Sir, do you know what we're doing right now?"

The old man slowly looked up at him and then gazed out the ambulance window.

"Oh," he replied, "I'd say about 50, maybe 55."


  Did you ever wonder? 
 

* Dining Out

Remember when eating out was a relaxing experience? Someone else cooked for you, served you and cleaned up after you. All you had to do was chew, swallow and pay. No longer, though. Today, you feel like a laboratory rat who has to struggle through a maze every time it wants a chunk of cheese:

"Good evening," the maitre d' said. "Table for four?"

"Yes, Thank you."

"Smoking or non?"

"Non smoking."

"Would you prefer to dine indoors or outdoors this evening?"

"I guess indoors would be good."

"Very well, sir," he said. "Would you like to be seated in the main dining room, the enclosed patio, or our lovely solarium?"

"Uh, let me see...uh..."

"I can give you a table with a lovely view in our lovely solarium."

"I think the solarium would be lovely," I said.

We followed him there...

"Now, would you prefer a view overlooking the golf course, the sunset on the lake or the majestic mountains to the West?"

"Whatever you recommend," I said.

Let HIM make a decision for a change, I thought.

He sat us by a window facing the golf course, lake or mountains. I couldn't tell which because it was dark outside.

Then, a young man better dressed and better looking than any of us presented himself at our table...

"Good evening, my name is Paul, and I'll be your waiter this evening. Would you like a few minutes before I take your order?"

"No," I said. "I'm just a meat-and-potatoes guy, so I'll have the filet mignon and a baked potato."

"Soup, or salad?"

"Salad."

"We have a mixed-green salad, hearts of palm, or a very fine endive salad with baby shrimp."

"Just a mixed-green salad, okay?"

"Whatever you say, sir. Dressing?"

I didn't want to make another decision... "Whatever you've got will be fine."

"We have creamy Italian, Blue Cheese, Vinaigrette, Thousand Island, Honey Dijon and Ranch."

"Just bring me one. Surprise me."

"Creamy Italian is our house specialty. Would that be all right, sir?"

"Yeah."

I was curt. I was done with civility.

"And for your baked potato?"

I knew what was coming! "I just want the baked potato dry, you understand? I don't want anything on it."

"No butter? No sour cream?"

"No."

"No chives? No bacon chips ? "

"No! Don't you understand English?" "I don't want anything on it. Just bring me a baked potato and a steak."

"Would you prefer the six, eight, or 12-ounce steak, sir?"

"Whatever."

"Would you like that rare, medium rare, medium, medium well or well done? Or, if you prefer, we can butterfly it for you."

"Pauly Boy," I said, "you are really starting to get me steamed."

"Which brings up the vegetables, sir. Would you like steamed broccoli, creamed corn, sauteed zucchini, or diced carrots?"

That did it. I threw my napkin to the floor, stood up, put my face right in his arrogant kisser and said, "How'd you like to settle this outside?"

"Fine with me, sir. Would you prefer the parking lot, the side alley or the street in front of the restaurant?"

"I prefer right here."

Then I sucker-punched him:

He ducked, then countered with a left hook right under my eye. It was the first time all night he hadn't offered me a selection.

I collapsed semiconscious into my chair, as someone in authority rushed over and berated Pauly.

I felt my tie being loosened, my collar unbuttoned, hands slapping my face. When I regained my senses, I saw the very concerned
maitre d' right in front of my nose. He apologized and offered to buy me a drink, call the paramedics, whatever I wanted.

"No, no," I said. "I'll be all right. Just bring me a glass of water."

"Yes, sir, right away," he said.

"Would you prefer imported mineral water, sparkling water, or club soda with a wedge of lime?

from Patricia



The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental  health and was giving an oral test.  Speaking specifically about  manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who  walks back and forth screaming at the top of his lungs one minute, then sits in a chair weeping uncontrollably the next?"

A young man in the rear raised his hand and answered,
"A basketball coach?"

Reality check:

Police said a man came home to find a drunk burglar asleep on the living room floor.
The arrest report said a 36-year-old man broke into the apartment and rummaged through the bedroom and cabinets before passing out.

When police woke up the man, he was apparently so intoxicated he thought he was in his own apartment.

Police charged him with burglary and criminal mischief.


yummy

"Studies have shown that smoking helps you lose weight -- one lung at a time!"


One for the brahmacharis - a moment of clarity
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies2638.html

What is faster: text messaging or morse code?
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies2634.html

A waiter comes over to a table full of Jewish women and asks, "Is anything all right?"


Do you know what you get when you cross a Jehovah's Witness with an atheist?

Someone who knocks on your door for no apparent reason.


Mad cow disease

Did you know that the biggest sellers in the bookstores are cookbooks.

The second biggest seller is diet books about how not to eat what you've just learned how to cook.

Laughing at the misfortune of others
http://www.thepostmanscorner.net/da/movies4029.html


scream for ice cream

Me asks......does this really happen?!

...I thought that there always is always peace and harmony?...yes yes I know that this does not apply to the devotionals..

......best to have the volume up abit to catch the subtleties...

Click HERE



 
 

The ways of this material world - strange but true


People say New Yorkers can't get along and won't share cabs.

Not true.

I saw 2 New Yorkers, complete strangers, sharing a cab.

One guy took the tires and the radio; the other guy took the engine and the bumpers.


Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?

Are they afraid someone will clean them?

A Xmas message


I told my wife that a husband is like a fine wine; he gets better with Age.

The next day, she locked me in the cellar.

Somebody is selling a "soul in good condition with no serious damage" on eBay saying it would be "an ideal and unusual Christmas gift".

The starting price for a well-kept soul is a modest $6.

Despite a huge interest in the offer no one has so far registered a bid.


latest extreme sport  - Lava diving


One Christmas, a parent decreed that she was no longer going to remind her children of their thank-you note duties.

As a result their grandmother never received acknow- ledgments of the generous checks she had given.

The next year things were different, however.

"The children came over in person to thank me," the grandparent told a friend triumphantly.

"How wonderful!" the friend exclaimed. "What do you think caused the change in behavior?"

"Oh, that's easy," the grandmother replied. "This year I didn't sign the checks."


Burger King has launched a new men's body spray called "Flame," which it describes as "the scent of seduction with a hint of flame-broiled meat."

The fast food chain is marketing the product through the Web site http://www.firemeetsdesire.com/ .

Not the yuga dharma


WRATH, n. Anger of a superior quality and degree, appropriate to exalted characters and momentous occasions; as, "the wrath of God," "the day of wrath," etc. Amongst the ancients the wrath of kings was deemed sacred, for it could usually command the agency of some god for its fit manifestation, as could also that of a priest. The Greeks before Troy were so harried by Apollo that they jumped out of the frying-pan of the wrath of Cryses into the fire of the wrath of Achilles, though Agamemnon, the sole offender, was neither fried nor roasted. A similar noted immunity was that of David when he incurred the wrath of Yahveh by numbering his people, seventy thousand of whom paid the penalty with their lives. God is now Love, and a director of the census performs his work without apprehension of disaster.

Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/

.......more optical illusions and paradigm twists here:

YANKEE, n. In Europe, an American. In the Northern States of our Union, a New Englander. In the Southern States the word is unknown. (See DAMNYANK.)

Devil's Dictionary, Ambrose Bierce
http://www.online-literature.com/bierce/devilsdictionary/

You know there is a problem with the education system when you realize
that out of the 3 R's, only one begins with an R.

from Patricia


great parenting skills
 
 

In a recent survey, 60 percent of respondents said the cities where they live is noisier now than they were five years ago.
The other 40 percent didn't hear the question.


only in India


Listen to this, a guy in North Carolina, a mailman, a Federal employee, a postal worker, was arrested and put in jail. You know why? He would deliver regular mail, but he wouldn't deliver junk mail. They got the guy, they arrested him, and they put him in prison. We got that guy, but still no word on bin Laden. (David Letterman)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip. After a good
vegetarian meal, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some
hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.
"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?" Holmes asked.
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there
are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets.
Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I
deduce that the time is approximately quarter past three.
Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are
small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have
a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
"Watson, you fool. Somebody has stolen our tent!"

sent in by Shahin Maghsoudhi
 




THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED
IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN
PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER
QUESTIONINGLY. 'THAT WAS MY PAGER,' SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM.

A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER
PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, 'THAT WAS MY MOBILE
PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.'

THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW -TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED
SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE
SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER
HANGING FROM HER REAR END.

THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER.
THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID.........WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT
THAT....I'M GETTING A FAX!!

sent in by Shyamasundara dasa ACBSP

Twinkle Twinkle Indian Desi Styles - hillarious ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fmdAF4ihedM

Bhai's version of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhjZeoePjdM&NR=1

Twinkle Punjabi Style
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TJZ1KPFhQuY&NR=1

twinkle twinkle
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qC9YZOd9ahU&NR=1



The Supreme Court ruled there cannot be a nativity scene in Washington, DC
this Christmas. This isn't for any religious or constitutional reason, they
simply have not been able to find three wise men and a virgin in the
nation's capitol. There was no problem, however, finding enough asses to fill the stable.

sent in by Shyamasundara dasa ACBSP


oh that's assorted fragrances by the way


The 12 Days of Christmas.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owK5tHjL0aE




Indian Santa

This is a really funny video check it out!

Indian Santa - http://www.desimad.com/view_video.php?viewkey=f4001c5193d310bf0094



It was the day after Christmas at a church in San Francisco. The pastor of the church was looking over the cradle when he noticed that the baby Jesus was missing from among the figures. Immediately he turned and went outside and saw a little boy with a red wagon, and in the wagon was the figure of the little infant, Jesus. So he walked up to the boy and said,
"Well, where did you get Him, my little friend?"

The little boy replied, "I got him from the church."

"And why did you take him?"

The boy said, "Well, about a week before Christmas I prayed to the little Lord Jesus and I told him if he would
bring me a red wagon for Christmas I would give him a ride around the block in it.


There were two blondes who went deep into the woods searching for a Christmas tree.

After hours of subzero temperatures and a few close calls with hungry wolves, one blonde turned to the other and said,
"I'm chopping down the next tree I see. I don't care whether it's decorated or not!"




A British hotel chain back in 2004 was offering couples called Mary and Joseph a free night's stay over Christmas.

"We are trying to make up for the hotel industry not having any rooms left on Christmas Eve 2004 years ago," said Sandi Clack, manager of the hotel in London.

"Our hotel is definitely more comfortable than a stable. I just hope they don't bring their donkey," he said.

A German man who earlier this year tried to have Santa Claus banned, says he has a device that can straighten bananas.

The 56-year-old has even gone so far as to apply for a patent. His application included sketches showing how bananas will be carried along on a conveyor belt while robots chop out the curvy bits.

"Once people get used to them I believe the straight cigar banana will drive the curved banana from the market. It's easier to eat, and easier to store," he claims.



.......and always remember (don't forget...)
SMILE IT MAKES THE WORLD WONDER WHAT YOU'VE BEEN UP TO ;)

Please Try our little Colour Test - Right Brain vs Left Brain:
http://www.njagyouth.org/colortest.swf


 
 




























































































































I can't believe you actually clicked on that